For a few days this past week, I was presented with an opportunity back home, one that would have required (or allowed, depending on your perspective) me to return home for good much sooner than I had been expecting.
The story began earlier this year, in March or April. A thoughtful friend sent me a link to a job opening at a federal government agency. It was for an attorney position, and the duties involved were similar to what I was doing at my last position. He thought it was a great opportunity, especially given my previous experience, and wanted to let me know about it. At the time, I was not working full-time, and did not have any prospects of a full-time job. So I applied for this position, thinking that if I got this job for the 2014-2015 school year, I would accept it and return to the U.S. while my husband completed his contract with the school here. We would've had to be separated for 10 months, but we could've made it work.
Well, the months went by and I never heard from them, so I put it out of my mind. In the meantime, I was offered my current teaching job. We went home for a visit. Life went on. But, of course, life never happens as planned. A few weeks after I returned to Bangkok in July, just as I was preparing to start the school year, I received an email from the government agency with a request for an interview! After much discussion, my husband and I decided for me to go for it. After all, what harm was there to go through with the interview, right? (This is a big shift in my attitude and thinking. Two years ago, I wouldn't have gone through with the interview, having just started a new job. Now my thinking is, "Let's do it and see what happens.")
It was a huge pain in the butt to set up a transatlantic phone interview! We had to try a couple of times because my cell phone is an ancient dinosaur of a gadget and the connection was horrible. The interview finally took place one night at 10 p.m. my time. After waiting for the entire day for the interview, I was nervous, tired, and not in the mood. The interview went okay, but not particularly spectacularly. I was just glad to get it done and go to bed!
At the time, we decided that, if I were offered a position early enough in the school year, I could still consider accepting the job. The position was to start at the end of September. But again, weeks went by, and I heard nothing. I developed a routine and relationship with my students. We got to know each other, became comfortable with each other, and they came to depend on me.
Finally, after more than a month went by, I received a job offer this past week. Imagine the emotions that I felt seeing that email in my inbox first thing in the morning. I was happy that I received an offer, of course; it's always nice to have options. But now I was presented with a difficult decision that I was kind of hoping I wouldn't ever have to make. For one, I felt extremely crappy at the thought of abandoning my students so suddenly. Two, we have already made vacation plans for September and October, and I was really looking forward to those trips, as well as other trips later this year. On top of it all, a big part of me no longer felt like going home -- this year being our second year, things feel completely different; we're comfortable living here now, and we're enjoying our life with our jobs, friends, travels, and explorations.
On the other hand, if we go home after this school year, this job would've really allowed us to return to our former life back in the U.S. pretty seamlessly. My husband already has a guaranteed position back home, and I would've been able to return to the legal field with the U.S. government. The situation couldn't have been more ideal for a return to a safe and secure existence. So which do we choose -- adventure or security? And yes, the two are pretty much mutually exclusive. There is just no way for us to live the life we live now back in the U.S.
After discussing it at length, we decided for me to take another risk by asking about the possibility of postponing the start date. The email offer had stated that the "first available start dates" were in September, giving the impression that there may be other available start dates.
Alas, there was no possibility of postponing the start date, so I had to choose between accepting the job offer and starting by the end of September, or declining the offer. I was so torn. But my gut told me that it would be completely wrong of me to ditch my current job and students with such short notice. I also didn't really want to be separated from my family and take my son out of school just as he was happily getting settled, so I declined the offer, but only after holding onto my email response for about an hour before sending it.
Of course, a small part of me is now second-guessing my decision. What have I done? Did I really give up a good job that would allow me to get back into the legal field, after having been out of practice for a year, when many other lawyers that are more current in the field are looking for jobs? Will we be kicking ourselves for this decision if or when we return home? I've always been pretty fortunate when it comes to getting jobs, but I certainly don't want to push my luck. On the other hand, I am relieved and happy that I'm staying, that I didn't really have to screw anyone over with my decision, that I don't have to say goodbye to anyone just yet, and that I get to continue this adventure, which I'm feeling more reluctant to give up with each passing day.
Friday, August 29, 2014
Thursday, August 28, 2014
A Flurry of Activities
It's a little nuts how much my son's schedule of activities has ramped up this year. We've gone from having one activity for most of last year to four and counting this year. This is the most number of activities he's ever had at one time, so it seems like a lot to me. I don't like putting him in too many structured activities, but it's hard to strike a balance between encouraging and supporting his interests and helping him develop skills, and allowing him unstructured time to play and just...be (which I think is highly underrated).
Back in the U.S., our son had been taking tang soo do classes twice a week. He really enjoyed it and was getting pretty good at it, so when we moved here, we decided to sign him up for an after-school tae kwon do class. We quickly learned, however, that it was not really a tae kwon do class. Rather, it was more of an exercise class for kids (seeing as how physical fitness isn't really a priority with Thai kids), and the pace was very slow -- too slow for my son. It was quite disappointing. He didn't even finish the semester.
This school year, we've signed him up for judo because he's really missed his martial arts class. He's only had one session so far, but it seems promising. The class is co-taught by one of my husband's Japanese 10th-graders and her father, and both of them are really good at judo. A bonus is that my son will also pick up some Japanese being part of the class. When he took tang soo do, he learned how to count in Korean and picked up a few Korean phrases, and now he'll do the same with Japanese. My husband and I both took a year of Japanese in college, and it's nice to hear and recognize some familiar phrases again.
Back in March or so, we also signed him up for gymnastics classes at a Thai-Canadian sports center. After a few sessions, he was moved up to an intermediate-level, all-boys class that taught him more skills, such as the pommel horse, uneven bars, and rings. It's still at a pretty basic level, but he's progressing. We will continue with that on Saturdays until our membership runs out next March.
He's also continuing with swim classes this year because he enjoys them so much and is making a lot of progress. But the aquatics director who developed and built up this program for the past four years is no longer with the school, and no one has replaced him yet, so the quality of the classes remains to be seen.
Another addition to the schedule is the chess club. One of our friends here is leading and teaching it, and his kids, who are friends with my son, are in it, so my son wanted to be in it too.
Then, just this past week, a friend who has a daughter adopted from China approached me about private Mandarin classes for our kids. It would cost less than $30 total for an hour, so it's a great deal for both of us. Her daughter, who's my son's age, already had been getting private Mandarin classes for the past year or two, but she wants someone to take it with her. Since she and my son are close friends, and they both know a little bit of Mandarin, we thought it would be perfect. But both of our families have a lot on our plates, so scheduling the class has been tricky, and we're still uncertain whether or not we can make this class happen.
So our schedule has become fairly packed. Still, it doesn't feel hectic or rushed; we still feel that we have plenty of time at the end of the day, and my son still gets plenty of time to play and do what he wants. Most importantly, he's having a blast with these activities!
Another addition to the schedule is the chess club. One of our friends here is leading and teaching it, and his kids, who are friends with my son, are in it, so my son wanted to be in it too.
Then, just this past week, a friend who has a daughter adopted from China approached me about private Mandarin classes for our kids. It would cost less than $30 total for an hour, so it's a great deal for both of us. Her daughter, who's my son's age, already had been getting private Mandarin classes for the past year or two, but she wants someone to take it with her. Since she and my son are close friends, and they both know a little bit of Mandarin, we thought it would be perfect. But both of our families have a lot on our plates, so scheduling the class has been tricky, and we're still uncertain whether or not we can make this class happen.
So our schedule has become fairly packed. Still, it doesn't feel hectic or rushed; we still feel that we have plenty of time at the end of the day, and my son still gets plenty of time to play and do what he wants. Most importantly, he's having a blast with these activities!
Monday, August 11, 2014
Mother's Day Weekend Getaway
Today is the Queen's birthday/Mother's Day, so we got a four-day weekend after only two days of school. At the last minute, we decided to go to a beach about three hours away for the weekend since we were "stuck" at home most of July. Because this was a last-minute reservation, it was the first time we paid closer to western prices, at about $100/night. Even so, it would've cost a lot more had it been in the U.S.
We booked a driver to take us there and back home, and two friends who were going to a nearby island shared the rides with us. We had great weather and a great view no matter where we were. We did nothing the entire weekend, except hang out and play on the beach and in the pools, eat and drink, and take a "sunset" cruise (without the sunset; the cruise ended before the sun set!). My son got to go fishing and caught a fish he had never seen before -- an oyster toad fish -- see a squid discharge ink when it was startled, and watch big pipe fish jump out of the water into schools of minnow to catch and eat them. It was really nice to get away for a few days.
We booked a driver to take us there and back home, and two friends who were going to a nearby island shared the rides with us. We had great weather and a great view no matter where we were. We did nothing the entire weekend, except hang out and play on the beach and in the pools, eat and drink, and take a "sunset" cruise (without the sunset; the cruise ended before the sun set!). My son got to go fishing and caught a fish he had never seen before -- an oyster toad fish -- see a squid discharge ink when it was startled, and watch big pipe fish jump out of the water into schools of minnow to catch and eat them. It was really nice to get away for a few days.
Tuesday, August 5, 2014
Back to Work, Back to School!
I started new teacher orientation last week. Even though I had been here for a year already, I still considered myself "new" since I wasn't working full-time at the school last year -- a point that, apparently, confused everyone at the school. When I showed up at the school last Monday, even the high-school assistant principal exclaimed, "Oh hi! I wasn't expecting to see you here!" Really? I was excused from the HR meeting with new faculty the next morning, but that was when all the new staff got their I.D. cards, so I ended up having to do that on my own. Then, when we all went to the hospital for a physical exam last Wednesday, my name was left off the list of those requiring an exam and my presence completely confused the school HR and hospital staff.
Most of the activities throughout the week were a waste of time (for me and in general). I got to play "The Amazing Race," which, like the TV show, required the various teams to go to various parts of the campus in search of clues and complete various challenges. One challenge required a lap in the school pool by one team member from each team, so those who could swim (I can't) and who were adventurous enough jumped in fully clothed. My contribution to our team was eating most of my team's share of fish balls. However, even with my knowledge of the campus, my team still came in dead last. It was just too hot for anyone to care.
The hospital visit was interesting too. We were given a blood test, a urinalysis, an EKG, a chest X-ray, and a physical exam. The nurses got close and personal with our bodies. All our names were butchered beyond recognition (yes, even my one-syllable first name) by the hospital nurses and doctors. I was special and received not one, but two, eye exams. I tried to convey to the nurse that I had already had an eye exam earlier during the visit, but she did not understand me at all, so I just submitted to another one. Last year, one female teacher reported that the nurse who examined her asked her if her breasts were real because they were so big ("They are real and they are spectacular!").
One thing I really liked about last week was meeting all the new teachers. I think I'm in a great position right now -- I've already had a year to acclimate and adjust, and now am familiar with the city and culture, but I am still considered part of the new cohort and get to meet the newest members of the school. More new teachers this year than last are coming from another international setting -- Malaysia (a German/Polish man who was born in Argentina, has lived on five different continents, and speaks five languages), Hong Kong/Beijing (an American teaching at local schools there), Cairo, Qatar, and Peru. I loved hearing about their experiences and travels.
This week, all the returning teachers started work too. They have three days to prep for the new school year, then the students start on Thursday for all levels. I felt much more excited than I had anticipated to see the friends we had made last year after a couple of months of not seeing them, probably in part due to the fact that we were here for at least two weeks by ourselves before they began straggling in one by one (those first two weeks back were a bit rough, what with feeling homesick, having to adjust to being here again, and being here with no friends to hang out with). We were all so happy to see each other and catch up on our summers. And they all had such exciting summers -- trekking in Burma, hiking and zip lining in Bali, visiting villages in Nepal after spending several weeks in Australia and New Zealand, jet-setting all over Europe after a visit back home to the U.S., and traveling throughout the U.S. Really brought out the wanderlust in me.
Now we're all back to business with endless meetings, team-building activities (hate those), and preparations for the first semester starting Thursday. It's been overwhelming and exhausting, having to set up everything in the classroom and online, organize all the paperwork and documents (even without legal requirements to meet, special education here still generates a lot of paperwork!), learn about the students I'll have, and meet with all the teachers coming to me about the students. My own schedule is packed, with multiple classes to support each period of the day! I'm supposed to get two free periods every other day, but it looks like I'll have to be flexible about that. The good news is that I'll get to work with my husband in one of his Biology classes!
Meanwhile, my son has been a totally free-range kid this week. Most teachers with children here have a nanny, but we don't, so he's just been coming to school with us and hanging out wherever and with whomever is around. Yesterday, he was at the library on his own most of the day, along with a friend. Today, he hung out with the kids (aged 9 and 12; nicest kids I've ever met) of two teachers at the ES, helping them set up their bulletin boards and unpacking their classrooms for them. Then he ran around with a pack of older kids between the school and their house behind the school, coming back to the school during a downpour only when it was time to go home. I only saw him briefly once in the middle of the day. I doubt any of this would happen in the U.S., where not only is the mentality different, but young kids are more closely supervised and their schedules more controlled by their parents. But it worked out great -- we got the time to get some work done, and he got to feel like one of the big kids and experience freedom and independence. Then, this weekend, after only two days of school with students, we will have four days off. So far, so good!
Most of the activities throughout the week were a waste of time (for me and in general). I got to play "The Amazing Race," which, like the TV show, required the various teams to go to various parts of the campus in search of clues and complete various challenges. One challenge required a lap in the school pool by one team member from each team, so those who could swim (I can't) and who were adventurous enough jumped in fully clothed. My contribution to our team was eating most of my team's share of fish balls. However, even with my knowledge of the campus, my team still came in dead last. It was just too hot for anyone to care.
The hospital visit was interesting too. We were given a blood test, a urinalysis, an EKG, a chest X-ray, and a physical exam. The nurses got close and personal with our bodies. All our names were butchered beyond recognition (yes, even my one-syllable first name) by the hospital nurses and doctors. I was special and received not one, but two, eye exams. I tried to convey to the nurse that I had already had an eye exam earlier during the visit, but she did not understand me at all, so I just submitted to another one. Last year, one female teacher reported that the nurse who examined her asked her if her breasts were real because they were so big ("They are real and they are spectacular!").
One thing I really liked about last week was meeting all the new teachers. I think I'm in a great position right now -- I've already had a year to acclimate and adjust, and now am familiar with the city and culture, but I am still considered part of the new cohort and get to meet the newest members of the school. More new teachers this year than last are coming from another international setting -- Malaysia (a German/Polish man who was born in Argentina, has lived on five different continents, and speaks five languages), Hong Kong/Beijing (an American teaching at local schools there), Cairo, Qatar, and Peru. I loved hearing about their experiences and travels.
This week, all the returning teachers started work too. They have three days to prep for the new school year, then the students start on Thursday for all levels. I felt much more excited than I had anticipated to see the friends we had made last year after a couple of months of not seeing them, probably in part due to the fact that we were here for at least two weeks by ourselves before they began straggling in one by one (those first two weeks back were a bit rough, what with feeling homesick, having to adjust to being here again, and being here with no friends to hang out with). We were all so happy to see each other and catch up on our summers. And they all had such exciting summers -- trekking in Burma, hiking and zip lining in Bali, visiting villages in Nepal after spending several weeks in Australia and New Zealand, jet-setting all over Europe after a visit back home to the U.S., and traveling throughout the U.S. Really brought out the wanderlust in me.
Now we're all back to business with endless meetings, team-building activities (hate those), and preparations for the first semester starting Thursday. It's been overwhelming and exhausting, having to set up everything in the classroom and online, organize all the paperwork and documents (even without legal requirements to meet, special education here still generates a lot of paperwork!), learn about the students I'll have, and meet with all the teachers coming to me about the students. My own schedule is packed, with multiple classes to support each period of the day! I'm supposed to get two free periods every other day, but it looks like I'll have to be flexible about that. The good news is that I'll get to work with my husband in one of his Biology classes!
Meanwhile, my son has been a totally free-range kid this week. Most teachers with children here have a nanny, but we don't, so he's just been coming to school with us and hanging out wherever and with whomever is around. Yesterday, he was at the library on his own most of the day, along with a friend. Today, he hung out with the kids (aged 9 and 12; nicest kids I've ever met) of two teachers at the ES, helping them set up their bulletin boards and unpacking their classrooms for them. Then he ran around with a pack of older kids between the school and their house behind the school, coming back to the school during a downpour only when it was time to go home. I only saw him briefly once in the middle of the day. I doubt any of this would happen in the U.S., where not only is the mentality different, but young kids are more closely supervised and their schedules more controlled by their parents. But it worked out great -- we got the time to get some work done, and he got to feel like one of the big kids and experience freedom and independence. Then, this weekend, after only two days of school with students, we will have four days off. So far, so good!
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