Reflections After a Summer Home

It's been two weeks since we returned to Bangkok after playing tourist in our own country and city for a month. Our time at home went by in a flash. Between visiting family and as many friends as possible, a one-week writing class for my son, a short road trip, shopping for stuff to bring back (apologies for all the empty shelves at Target), and taking care of business, there was hardly any time to really slow down, take it all in, and enjoy it.

But oh, it was pretty fabulous to be back. Aside from the people, the best parts of being back were the beautiful weather that allowed us to spend virtually every waking moment outdoors without breaking out in sweat (and no mosquito bites -- I was in heaven!) and the sense of freedom we felt from being able to just hop in our car and go. Our road trip to Massachusetts and New Jersey especially made me long for the open road again.

The best thing about living in the U.S. is the convenience of everyday life. After living in Thailand, I had forgotten, and was amazed by, how easy life is in the U.S. I didn't even feel the need to be present to go through daily life there; everything could be achieved so easily and quickly without much thought. (Perhaps, though, being able to go through the motions without the presence of mind isn't such a good thing.) One thing is for sure -- I was able to see life in America from a new perspective. I realized how much I took for granted life there and had new-found appreciation for even the ordinary.

Having said all that, however, I also saw more clearly the flaws of our country. The first thing that really jumped out at me was all the excess that surrounded me -- from the grocery store to the portion sizes of meals to the things available to people to the size of vehicles. The more and the bigger, the better, it seemed. There was a lot of stuff, much more than anyone will ever need, everywhere. Americans really have it good; we have everything at our fingertips. How spoiled and entitled we must seem when we complain and whine about the little things when there are so many people here working so hard for so little without any complaint. Seeing all that was around me, it was hard to believe that there are people in the country actually living in poverty and living without basic needs. It really is a shame for a country with such an abundance of everything.

I definitely felt very lucky and grateful after taking a look around me and at my life. But it was a bit shocking to be confronted with so much. It was overwhelming and quite anxiety-inducing. Here in Thailand, I'm not constantly bombarded with a million options for everything; my life is simpler and much less stressful.

And as strange as this may sound, given the size of our country, I felt landlocked. During the short time that I lived in Thailand this past year, I had gotten used to being able get into a different country within just a couple of hours. If I drove for as many hours in Thailand as I did during our road trip in the U.S., I'd probably be two continents over already, but in America, I was still on the east coast, just a few states away!

It also felt strange to realize that the U.S. is not a country where international travel is an everyday occurrence and that traveling is actually a pretty big deal for most people there. Living here in Asia, I truly get the sense that the world is very much interconnected and that its people are truly global citizens. Many people call multiple countries "home," and they don't really consider themselves to be of any one nationality. But in the U.S., I don't really get that sense. America seems very much in its own bubble, both physically and mentally. Part of the reason may be its sheer size -- to get around in, and out of, America takes a good deal of time and money. But it also seems that many Americans are very much concerned only with their own lives and problems, and don't realize how intertwined with the rest of the world they, and many aspects of their lives, really are.

Living abroad also has changed me more than I had expected and more than I had realized while living here in Thailand -- it only became more obvious after I went home. This article pretty accurately discusses some of the ways a person is changed by living abroad. For me, in particular, I found my attitude to be much more relaxed, and things that used to bother me now simply rolled off my back. I also found myself feeling more confident; as the article says, I definitely feel more along the lines of "anything is possible" now that we've done what we've done. I feel that I can handle whatever life throws at me. Something else I had picked up from here was the friendly attitude of the Thai people. While home, I interacted much more with random strangers wherever I went, something that I rarely did before Thailand. I also felt more "tuned in" to my surroundings. And I have no desire to return to the rat race or to our previous existence, which felt just exactly that -- an existence, not living life as it should be lived. I now know that there is so much more to life than I could have ever imagined. 

I've loved living abroad, even if not so much the country that has allowed me to do so. Living abroad has opened up my world (literally and figuratively), taught me so much about myself and life, and given me a new perspective and a better attitude. I also love my current way of life, so relaxed and stress-free. Despite all this, however, we've come to a decision quite contrary to our feelings: we are likely going back home after this coming school year. The reason for our decision? My parents. As we were getting ready to leave for the airport to fly back to Bangkok, I saw the looks on my parents' faces. It was then that I knew I need to be home -- not only for them, but also for myself and my son.

In that moment, when I had this realization, there was a sense of relief and closure. But I'm quite nervous and worried about repatriating. I have no desire to return to my former self or get back onto the hamster wheel that is life in the U.S. I want to remember and hold onto what I've seen, experienced, and learned here. But I know that won't be the case. Over time, I will likely get sucked back into my surroundings and our previous life as it was will again be the norm. Maybe we will be able to live overseas again one day and pick up where we're leaving off. In the meantime, I feel very fortunate to have been able to live out our lifelong dream of living in another country.

The Job Saga...Finally Coming to a Close?

Ever since I received an offer to teach at our Bangkok school for the upcoming school year and signed a contract, I've been dealing with the bureaucracy that is the Thai government. It was easier wading through the U.S. government bureaucracy when I worked there, and that's saying a lot!

Before leaving for the U.S. for a visit last month, the school's HR informed me that I would need to provide a copy of the transcript for my master's degree (the degree that qualifies me for the job) and the diploma to that same degree. It was emphasized to me many times that I needed to make sure the name that appears on my transcript and diploma matches exactly my name as it appears on my passport (which lists my full name). If the names don't match exactly, I would need to request a name-verification letter from the university where I received my degree stating that the different names referred to the same person. I would need to do this even if it was just a matter of having only my middle initial on one document and my full name on another. I was given a sample letter to follow, and the provider of the letter would need to follow the sample letter's exact format and wording. (Rigid much?)

Once I got back to the U.S., I found a copy of my transcript and took a look. It was then that I remembered that I had completed this degree before I was married, so everything had my maiden name on it! Crap. I called the university registrar's office and explained my situation. The person on the phone instructed me to send in my transcript request, along with a copy of my marriage certificate and a copy of the letter my school needed. So off I went to the courthouse to request a copy of my marriage certificate (since the original one was back in Bangkok). I then typed up a letter detailing my situation and request, and mailed all the documents to the university. 

About a week later, I received my requested number of transcripts, along with two letters. One letter, addressed to me, stated that it was the university's policy to verify only the name a student used while attending the school. The other letter verified the name that I used while attending the school. Well, what good does that do me?! I scanned all the documents and emailed them to the HR lady who had been helping me, explaining the situation. Needless to say, she responded that the letter was unacceptable to the Thai Education Ministry. She suggested that I ask the American Embassy in Bangkok whether they would write a letter for me. She also acknowledged that she was uncertain as to whether the American Embassy provided such  service.

I wondered why the Thai government wouldn't accept marriage certificates as a form of name verification, especially as my marriage certificate not only lists my full name, but also links me to my current last name. I mean, really, how many people in the world have exactly my English first name, Chinese middle name, and Polish last name? HR didn't know the answer to this question either, and admitted that the Thai Education Ministry never gave them a good reason for its very narrow requirement.

I made an appointment to go in to obtain this affidavit. The way the process went, I would never accept this affidavit if I were the Thai government. I filled in the blank affidavit myself, and someone at the embassy asked me what the purpose of the affidavit was. I didn't even finish explaining before the clerk said, "Okay, if you swear everything on the paper is true, then just sign here." Really official!

The next day, I went to school to submit this affidavit, which was deemed acceptable. Now I wait for the arrival of my diploma. Then the HR office submits my paperwork to the Thai Education Ministry. After that, I also need to change the type of visa that I currently have, from a non-working visa to a visa that allows me to work in Thailand. To do that, I first need to go to the Thai immigration office in Bangkok to cancel my current visa. Then, the day after canceling my visa, I need to leave Thailand to go to the Thai Embassy in another country, with a letter from the Thai immigration office, to apply for the visa that I need to work in Thailand. Yippee! More stuff to do that I don't have time for! At least we plan to combine this trip, if it comes to be, with some sightseeing so as not to waste time or money. What worries me is the trip to the Thai immigration office. I have heard horror stories of people waiting there all day, not getting done what they needed to get done, and having to return at least one more time.

I can't believe how much time and energy I have spent just in pursuit of documents for employment. All this just to work for one year here.    

Another Year, Another House

In Thailand, moving from one house to another is nothing like moving in the U.S., at least for expats. In the U.S., we would research moving companies, get price quotes, and sign contracts with all kinds of stipulations just to move. And relocating within the U.S. is usually a major expense. In contrast, everyone we know here who move simply ask around to check who has a big enough vehicle to help them move. For this move, our first (and only, hopefully) in Thailand, we did go a bit more "formal" and got a recommendation of a guy who moves people on the side. It cost us only about $100. Moving also is easier here because we have no furniture.

We all love this house. It's so light, airy, and open, and we are within walking distance to shops, restaurants, a playground, and a lake. It's never been lived in by our landlady, who bought it as an investment property (I believe she resides in France). The location of the house is farther away from our school, though, so we've made tentative arrangements with the taxi driver who used to work for the teachers living at the house to come and pick us up every morning (sharing with one other teacher) so as to eliminate the frustration of having to look for a driver on a daily basis, which can be difficult, especially if it's raining. But so many of our friends here now live just down the street from us, so we can all get together at a moment's notice. Haven't had a living situation like that in...never! I'm really looking forward to living here for this next year!

Our house.

The front yard seen from the front door. And that tree is our very own mango tree! Can't wait till next April!

The front yard.

Another view of the front.

I love all the beautiful potted plants we have, but I have neither the time nor the patience to care for them, so they will probably end up dying.

The front door.

The downstairs.

More of the downstairs.

The kitchen, with a propane oven, a microwave left behind by the previous tenants, and a large refrigerator (not pictured).

Part of the backyard.

Upstairs landing.

Master bedroom. I really don't understand the columns in the middle of the room. Unlike the last house, this master bedroom doesn't come with its own bathroom.

I love the master bedroom furniture.

The room my son chose for himself.

His very own balcony.

The upstairs bathroom. Behind that curtain is a bathtub!