Spiritual Encounters, So to Speak

With today being Halloween, it's as good a time as any to explore some of the superstitions in Thailand. Like many Asian cultures, superstitions play a prominent role in Thai culture. Superstitions affect every aspect of a person's behavior and life in Thailand. For example, no one except the royal family can get a haircut on Wednesdays -- Wednesdays are believed to be auspicious, and only the royal family is allowed to get haircuts on that day. And when you see a rainbow, don't point to it or your finger will be amputated. Colleagues of mine who are married to Thai women also tell me that the Thai people are constantly changing their names to improve their fortunes and for good luck. Many people also regularly make offerings and make merit to improve their health and luck, and will even take a sabbatical from their jobs to live as a monk in order to do so -- after making sure that the dates of entry into monkhood are favorable, of course.

When it comes to beliefs about ghosts and spirits, it is no different. The topic of ghosts and spirits is taken very seriously in Thailand. Unlike the campfire stories with flashlights that American children tell and hear, conversations about ghosts and other-worldly beings tend to cause discomfort with the locals. Almost all buildings and homes have spirit houses that are respected and worshipped regularly -- likely multiple times a day. These houses, which look like mini temples, are created to encourage spirits to live in their own home rather than enter the house.

There are many famous ghosts in Thailand. Some of them are good, and some of them bad. One of the most famous ghost stories in Thailand is from a neighborhood in downtown Bangkok. She is known as Mae Nak (แม่นาก), a female ghost who died at childbirth. Legend has it that her husband, Mak, returned home from war to find her and their child living in their home, not realizing that they had both died and had become spirits. When he saw her extend her arms in an unnatural way, he realized she was a spirit and fled. After that, Nak terrorized the people of Phra Khanong, furious at them for causing Mak to leave her. Nak's ghost was eventually captured in an earthen jar and thrown into a canal in Bangkok. Several movies have been made about Mae Nak. Two of the main actors in the most recent movie made about Mae Nak are the parents of students at our school. (Here's a trailer to the movie.) There's also a shrine dedicated to Mae Nak.

Other legends of ghosts in Thailand include Pret (เปรต), an extremely tall hungry ghost whose mouth is the size of a needle hole, and Phi Pop (ผีปอบ), a female spirit that is similar to a Wendigo that devours human entrails.

There are tales of many other ghosts in Thailand. I find these stories and their impact on the Thai culture and the people's behaviors fascinating, though unsurprising as it is similar in Chinese culture. The Thai perspective on ghosts is certainly very different from the American perspective, which is much more casual. Given how seriously ghosts are taken here, I find it even more intriguing to find some of the Thai people celebrating Halloween alongside the American expats. 

I've Got Culture Coming Out the Yin-Yang!

This week was, once again, the annual Culture Week at school. It's a big to-do and there's always a lot of energy excitement surrounding this week. Preparations usually begin as soon as the school year begins in early August.

Tuesday was Western Day, when students and teachers are encouraged to dress in western-style costumes. It seemed almost everyone wore a cowboy/cowgirl outfit last year, whereas World Cup jerseys and uniforms were the costume of choice this year. The three of us lamely attempted to participate by dressing in a Harvard t-shirt (my son), a t-shirt with the American flag on it (my husband), and a Washington Nats jersey that really belongs to my son (me).

[All photos taken by school staff.]

Western Day at the HS.

This is the daughter of one of the HS science teachers who is ethnically Thai, but was born and raised in the U.S. This little girl is four and the cutest little thing that ever existed. In real life, she looks like a little doll!

Wednesday was Asian (except Thai) Day. During morning assembly, select students marched in carrying flags of the countries represented at our school. This day is probably my favorite because so many of the girls dress up in beautiful qi pao, hanbaks, kimonos, and saris. It's such a visual feast with all the rich colors and textures around campus. It's also the biggest day of the already-eventful week with the International Food Fair, musical performances from the school jazz band and various choir groups at the school, dancing, and other activities. The high school even lengthened the morning break and lunch break so everyone had time to enjoy all the festivities. My husband and I enjoyed Indian food, Chinese dumplings, Korean food, sushi, Thai food (of course), and other treats. My son got his fill of candy and ice cream when his class attended the food fair. For variety, he bought some French fries. 

After school on Wednesday, the school once again provided a celebration for the teachers, complete with wine and beer. It didn't take long before the party started to feel more like a frat party, with all the young P.E. teachers trying to out-do each other in building towers from beer cans. This was right in front of the high-school administrators, who actually cheered them on! Only in Thailand!

At the food fair.

Sushi!

Cuties at the food fair.

Dance performance.

Dancers.

The jazz band.

Instrumental music performance.

Elementary School teachers getting silly on Asian Day.

Thursday, the last day of Culture Week, was Thai Day. There was a Thai-fashion show, and traditional Thai dance and music performances. The high-school girls looked gorgeous in their amazing traditional Thai dresses, jewelry, and make-up, with their hair intricately braided and done.

ES art teacher with some of the Thai school staff and aides.

It was a nice way to celebrate the end of the first quarter. Tomorrow is Parent-Teacher Conferences with no classes, and then we begin our much-needed mid-term break!

  

Resolution

Like many in our position, we've been grappling, since day one, with the question of what to do after the expiration of my husband's two-year contract with the school next June. The rate at which we changed our minds was dizzying -- we've made one decision only to change our minds five minutes later. We have gone 360 degrees, sideways, upside down...if it's a direction, we've been there. Surprisingly, when this school year began, we were even less certain than we were three months before about our path come the end of this school year.

At the end of August, the high school principal convened a lunch meeting with a group of certain teachers: all the teachers from our cohort and a few others who have been here for three or four years. The purpose of the meeting was a mystery and divulged only at the meeting. Basically, it was to let all these teachers know that they and their work are appreciated at the school, and that the school would like for them to return for at least a third year.

Currently, the school is in flux with a big turnover expected after this school year -- the head of the school, possibly the principals at all three levels (along with their spouses, all of whom are also teachers), and many teachers will be leaving after this school year. It's the nature of international schools, but all this change is unsettling when our own future already feels so uncertain.

Something reassuring that came out of the meeting was the principal encouraged all the teachers to look around for other opportunities between now and November, when we have to notify the school of our decision to stay or go, and offered to write recommendations for those who do so. This was reassuring because many of us were worried about the backlash we might receive should we ask for letters of recommendation.

Of course, there are teachers who decided from the start that they would be staying for at least a few years, and there are still others who have only decided to stay or go since the meeting (only one teacher broke contract after last year and returned home early). I'm actually quite surprised by the number of people who have decided to stay or who are leaning towards staying. But as someone said, it's easy to decide to stay -- life here is easy and comfortable, and you don't need much money to live a good life here.

For my husband and me, we were pretty certain by June that we would not be staying a third year, although we were still quite undecided about whether we would stay abroad or go home. But after returning to Bangkok in July, we, too, began giving some serious consideration to staying a third year. We, too, were tempted and lured by the easy and comfortable life here.

What's different with our situation, however, is that my husband still has a job to go home to, whereas none of the other teachers do -- they either resigned from their jobs before moving here, or received a one-year sabbatical and then resigned from their jobs to stay for a second year. We are truly lucky that we have more options.

Nevertheless, my husband decided to sign on again with the recruiting company that helped him obtain this job last year. We decided not to apply as a teaching team -- my lack of teaching experience would likely decrease his prospects more than increase our opportunities (even though I keep hearing that special education is in high demand at international schools). We also decided that we would continue to live abroad only if we were able to get our dream/ideal school and living situation. We might as well be trying to win the lottery, but what the heck? There was no harm in trying.

He requested, and received, stellar letters of recommendation from his principal and head of department, who retired at the end of last year, but continues to live in Bangkok for six months of the year. We began scouting out schools. Still, there were endless discussions daily about what our next step might be. Finally, tired of the endless seesawing we had been doing, I suggested that we just make a decision and stick with it. And even though we all feel quite at home here this year, we didn't exactly have the time to conduct another international job search and weren't feeling particularly inspired to find another school and start all over yet again, so we decided to pull my husband's online application portfolio. The decision was now between staying a third year and going home.

We thought about it and decided that we still have some loose ends to tie up at home. While we feel that living abroad suits us quite well, after two years away, it's time to go home, take stock, and re-evaluate: We need to figure out if we've "outgrown" our home country (after all, we're no longer the same people who left the U.S. over a year ago). We need to figure out what we want in the long run -- do we want to stay home or stay abroad? Or do we stay home and move to a different part of the U.S.? (Although, funnily enough, moving across the country still seems more daunting than moving across the world.) With this decision, my husband gets to keep his job back home, and we continue to keep our options open. In the meantime, I can figure out what I want to do (the never-ending question). So, yes, we have finally made a decision. No more wondering, no more seesawing, no more looking around.

After making the decision, we felt quite excited by the idea. And relief at having - finally - put this issue to rest. Don't get me wrong, I still have many moments of doubt about returning home. There's still a tiny part of us that's still leaving the door open for staying one more year, especially when we think about how happy our son has been living and going to school here. So who knows? We may change our minds again in the eleventh hour. For now, though, we are generally happy to have finally come to a decision, and will begin planning for our homecoming. Before we know it, it will be time to say goodbye and go home! It's such a bittersweet thought.